Monday, March 29, 2010

And then I stupidly pushed submit.

Dear New Yorker Magazine,

I'm going straight for the throat.
I have no experience in creative writing publication. Not a jot has seen professional ink. I oughta start somewhere. After all, this is a dream. A pathetic, clichéd, wonderful, innocent dream. So, I'll aim for the eyes, even if I'm doing this all wrong.
I'm being cocky. I don't mean to be, because pissing you off isn't my intention. My intention is to win, but how can I even hope?
I at least somewhat hope for a generic, soulless rejection letter. Better than being ignored, like when I was in third grade and I kept passing notes to the cute girl even when she rolled her eyes.
I'd learn my lesson. Don't be self-important next time, idiot! I'd learn something, too. All I know right now is there is a disproportionate amount of pink slips versus acceptance slips.
So fire away. I'm young, so I have nothing to lose. Maybe I'll keep dreaming. Lose a little cynicism. Does it help if I don't consider myself a poet?
Oh, speaking of which, I included a little poem from my heart and soul blah blah blah. . .

Have a nice day.

Mene Tekel

No comments: